In Passing

So there I was, rounding a corner after a particularly grueling hill. I was 2 miles in to my 4 mile run. The three beers and bowl of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream that I had the night before were laying the guilt on thick.

So as I rounded the corner in the dim morning light, just ten feet in front of me, running directly at me and closing fast, was this incredibly cute girl. She had on tight black running shorts, a white sports bra with a white tank top over it. She had beautifully tan skin and long straight black hair that was tied in a ponytail in the back. Her hair swayed side to side as the distance between her and I quickly evaporated.

You would think that in ten feet you could think of what you should do to appear at least somewhat attractive. However, it was early in the morning and the first cup of coffee was far from my lips. What happened next was both impressive and incredibly sad.  It that short distance she looked me straight in the eye, smiled and cheerfully said “good morning.” I was impressed because she smiled and presented her salutation as if she were on a gingerly stroll. As her surprisingly gleeful greeting registered in my half awake brain, I quickly packaged what I had hoped to be an equally effortless hello. Instead of a delightful smile, I seemed to grimace at what could be only be described of that tooth bearing grin a rabid dog has when he is either about to bite you or simply snarl. In an effort to distract her from this horrible sight, I raised my hand in a simple wave only to have my “good morning” come out something like “gachmooning.” It seemed that the surplus of phlem that had pooled in the back of my throut thwarted my normal vocals. Out of the corner of my eye I could see her delightful smile vanish and her face changed to that of total shock.

Ahhh….  I still have it. Aren’t great first impressions wonderful?